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And speaking of shock, the thing that has most surprised me about the state of staring here is that WHITE TOURISTS STARE THE MOST. I kid you not, on one occasion, while shopping, I witnessed a White tourist literally run down a supermarket aisle to tap her friend and point me out to her. I can't make this stuff up. A man did the same thing while walking down the street: when he saw me, he ran ahead to his friend who was walking in front of him, and stopped him to literally point me out. Generally speaking, the White tourists here have the most extreme reactions to me in terms of pointing, glaring, whispering, and so on. I have no idea where said White tourists are from, as I don't go up and ask them. However, if you are White and vacationing in Bali, you live in the developed world, and in 2019, you should've seen at least one Black person in your life - if not in person, then on TV, or in a book, or SOMEWHERE. Many times, I've smiled at tourists like this, and a conversation ensues, and they turn out to be really nice people. But again, that doesn't make it any easier to understand sometimes, especially if I'm just not in the mood.
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BALINESE PEOPLE stare as well of course, but I find them to be less phased, or more likely to smile. Young Balinese girls and guys often LAUGH as soon as they see me, which sometimes just feels so cruel. A few times I've laughed back and kind of mocked what they were doing, and they usually look shocked and stop. Someone told me that this kind of laughter is a part of their culture. But I've lived in a lot of different countries, and I'm pretty sure that NOWHERE IN THE WORLD IS IT CONSIDERED POLITE to look at someone and then burst into laughter. There was about a week of time a month or so ago, when I was feeling so enraged around this almost everyday. I had to re-train myself to just ignore it. The less I thought about it, the less it has seemed to happen since. Or maybe I just don't notice as much because I'm consciously choosing not to give it my attention. What I know for sure is that WHAT YOU FOCUS ON, GROWS, so I'm practicing making the GRACIOUS ASSUMPTION: I choose to believe that just because someone is staring, it doesn't mean that they are thinking something negative about me. And although I'm venting right now, I MUST SAY THAT I'VE HAD MORE POSITIVE STARE-DOWNS than negative. I often get compliments from Balinese women especially - they love my hair, or tell me I'm beautiful or something like that. I don't need that kind of validation, but having someone stare and SAY SOMETHING NICE is much better than having them say nothing at all, or not even smile.
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I've run into a couple of BLACK TOURISTS here, and they've been pretty stand-offish for the most part, so there's that LOL.By stand-offish I mean not really eager to carry on a conversation beyond a nod and a hello. Perhaps they think I'm a tourist too, and don't feel the same sense of urgency for connection. However, the Black people I've met that live here have been very friendly.
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Of course, these are my personal experiences, and I am not making generalizations about all White, Balinese, or Black people. I AM BY NO MEANS SAYING THAT ANY OF THE PEOPLE STARING ARE BAD PEOPLE. I'm just saying that I really needed to vent, LOL, and sometimes it doesn't matter what anyone's intention is, I just don't want to be stared at. However, I also remember something Maya Angelou said in an interview: she said something like "IMAGINE MOVING THROUGH THE WORLD AND NO ONE NOTICING YOU AT ALL". Whenever I feel myself turning into a grumpy traveler around this, I think of that quote and, as I always do, I FIND THE BEAUTY in the staring too.
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P.S. I took the picture of MOTHER AND CHILD STARING, while sitting on the back of my motorbike taxi.
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