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I felt such JOY TO BE CHOSEN, to be seen, and valued in such a simple and honest way. It BROKE MY HEART WIDE OPEN to imagine how it must be for her, as an orphan, to not feel that from her biological parents. I don't know anything at all about her story, so I am not judging her parents, I only know that her biological parents are obviously not in her life. I imagine that at least some of the time, she must feel an immense LONGING for that inherent, instinctual, intense, INDIVIDUALIZED, impenetrable love that most of us only ever experience from our parents. So for her to turn around so sweetly, and give that GIFT to me, was stunning and soul-stirring. She just sat with me for a moment, then took my hand and led me to stand up, then raised her arms for me to pick her up. She stuck with me for the rest of the evening.
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Why she chose me over any of the other adults there, I didn't know, and I DIDN'T CARE. I simply wanted to give her as much joy and unconditional love as she was giving me. Many of the other very young kids had a similar approach to Senna: they latched on to someone they liked for whatever reason, and stuck with them. I think they were all seeking a sense of belonging to SOME-ONE - of not being neglected - and so they were adept at extending the same love they were seeking. They truly understand that to receive love, one must also be loving. What a world this would be if we were all just as WISE at such a young age.
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Senna was very PASSIONATE in her approach to love, lol. She doesn't really speak any English yet, but she was still able to make her needs very clear. She communicated with me through GRUNTS AND GESTURES (and she even showed me some yoga mudras (hand gestures) that she knows, which was pretty impressive). She insisted that I carry her most of the time. When we had dinner, she patted the ground beside her, indicating that she wanted me to sit right next to her. Then she handed me her spoon and opened her mouth for me to feed her. She is four years old, so of course, she can feed herself. But she wanted to be pampered, even mothered perhaps, and so, I obliged. This was not the time for me to go into teacher or auntie mode and tell her to be a big girl. I was 100% devoted to loving her in the way that she wanted and needed to be loved in that moment. I didn't eat, but I COULD TASTE the blissful satisfaction that spilled over from her smile as she SAVORED EVERY MORSEL I fed her with that spoon. And when it was time for dessert, it became abundantly clear that she knows at least two English words: "Ice" and "Cream". She sounded out every syllable of "ICE CREAM" as loud as she could, at least 20 times, until she got it. And the ice cream, SHE FED HERSELF! I don't think my hands could've moved swiftly enough to feed her the ice cream. She scoffed it down SO fast. It was such a DELICIOUS DAY. Both of our hearts and souls were WELL FED, and absolutely FULL of LOVE.
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